"When I share my problems, I want solutions, not someone who listens to me." "Hey, I'm an engineer, not a psychologist."
That explains much. I get that you use humor to hide any insecurities you may be feeling but you're coming across as not truly listening.
From your background, I understand how you want someone to tell you the secret formula to saving your M and how to be a good H. No one can do that. No one can teach you compassion or empathy. You have to learn it yourself.
Your C was trying to get you to figure out your own problems. When you do that, changes stick and are for life. If you just followed what your C told you, if they didn't work, you would have just blamed him. It comes down to personal responsibility.
As for your W, you think that being nice, complimenting, etc. is what you need to do. It just comes off as fake and unreal. Treat her the way she should have been treated. Do not go over the top.
You have different excuses. What you do with the time together is what matters not the length. Some have lived a lifetime in 15 minutes.
You say that you didn't "hear" your W's complaints. I'm sure she did but you filed it away in your mind as her "nagging" and blew it off. Go back and replay those little comments she would make about your bad habits. See it from her point of view. If you can honestly see that, then you might be able to save your family.
"In normal circumstances, I would have let her know how cold and boring this place is and how we were going to get the f out of here."
And she would have left you sooner because it reeks of arrogance. If you don't like where you're living, then leave and go back home. But if you want to raise your son and put someone else's needs above your own, then you adapt. There are many things to like wherever you are. You just need to adjust your perspective.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
