Do I Have a Chance?

[complicated]

Kat, that is exactly what I was doing. I was treating him cordial but not too involved. Right before his little "vacation" he was at the house and next thing I knew he was leaving. He said that I wasn't paying any attention to him.

I'm not sure if just being cordial to him was working as much as the 180s. All the things he would complain about I was trying the 180s. My problem is when something big comes along, like the trip with the other woman, I couldn't bring myself to sit back and act like it didn't bother me. What I was successful at was a day later instead of still going off on him I didn't. Believe me I am still livid but I am biting my tongue. My youngest is the one who he is going to have to talk to. She just told me tonight that about a month ago he asked her what she thought if he was to date. She said absolutely not. Obviously he did it anyway and that may be the part she is so mad about. D15 and I talked briefly tonight and I said I thought you were ok with a divorce? She said she didn't like the fighting all the time. I said what if we were able to get back together and work out the things wer were fighting about. She said that would be ok but I will never be able to get past what he did. Of course I don't want him back if he isn't willing to work on our marriage. I don't want him to move back and go back to the same ole same ole.

He has been gone for 7 months so he knows that I can and am doing things for myself. That was another gripe of his. I always wanted to do things together. Now I don't even bother asking him. In fact, he made some comments that he didn't know some things were happening with the kids. I felt like if he needed his space then it was up to him to find out from them what was going on. He says he doesn't love me so why should I go out of my way to tell him things.

Before he went on his vacation, I did notice that he was doing small things again. Things that seem stupid but yet things he used to do. I hate being cold and sometimes if he had cold hands he would put them on my bare skin. Or just doing things to make me laugh. These things had stopped until a few weeks ago. I'm sure he had made those plans for the trip at least a month or so ago.

I may call a coach to find out what to do when he returns. There are some things I would really like to know but don't know if I should keep my mouth shut or ask.