Trying really hard to be Thankful today...

[littleGTO]

Hi, Sweet,
I know all this is soooooo difficult! Our MLCers turn into this whole other person, a stranger in our H's body. Somewhere deep inside we believe the REAL H is in there. HE is the one who loves US, HE is the one who loves his family more than life itself, HE is the one who used to treat us like a princess, and HE is the one that is all torn up that HE is doing this to us...& yet HE can't stop this stranger that has taken over.

I agree w NLW. This person has gone so far down this strange road he doesn't even know where he's headed or maybe even how he got there.

It seems obvious from what you've said that your H is NOT HAPPY, but tries to justify what he's done to try to FEEL happy. His truth will haunt him if he ignores it forever... meaning that he KNOWS that this is NOT him, but he is LOST and DOESN'T KNOW WHO HE IS ANYMORE.

The more I read about MLCers the sadder I become...b/c the reality is that each has his own journey through this and they cause all this damage along the way. The question is will he ever find his way back to you (or, forward to you, I should say)...and will you still be waiting for him if he does?

This is the question we LBS have to answer for ourselves. At some point we have to let them go, let them find themselves if they can, and decide for ourselves at some point if we want to continue to be there IF/WHEN they come out of this fog.

In the meantime, we take care of ourselves, do damage control, and love our kids DOUBLE. Hang in there, Sweet!