My Fears in GALing

[Denver_2010]

You're on the right track newman. Remember that you can do this without filing for D. You simply walk away and remove yourself as an option for your W. It may push her closer to OM. But like you said, that may already be happening. And if they aren't having contact, it is pretty clear that he is still in her head, preventing her from committing to her M to you.

I would suggest that you begin by detaching. Then cut the cord. I went cold turkey in May, but that was also after 18 months of loveless limbo. I naturally got to the point where I threw my hands up and was just suddenly DONE.

Once you do it, you cannot waver in your position. She MAY move closer to you as she feels your loss. Don't fall for it. If there is a true change in her heart, you will feel it... you will KNOW it. Trust me on that. My W falsely turned multiple times before it happened for real. The difference in what I felt was dramatic. Hard to explain.

Lastly, if you do this, you have to be prepared that this may be the end of your M. Don't do it until you are prepared to accept that.

Good luck.

Denver