Thankful!

[Lonely in SLC]

Thanks Tori, I am glad this is helping someone. I know exactly it feels to wonder if our paths will cross again at the right time, meaning my Ex and myself. I had some unique circumstances that I was going to share in the future, but now seems like a good time.

I would be very ungrateful to my Heavenly Father if I did not discuss how he has helped me during these difficult times. There are a few things that really stand out beside the normal spiritual comfort.

The first thing is that in my religion, we have the belief that when a man and wife are married in a Temple, that the marriage is sealed for time and eternity. This means that the marriage lasts into the next life if we are faithful in keeping the commandments. This belief was both a blessing and a curse.

We both believed that we would get back together. In my Ex’s mind, this would happen in the next life when we have a better understanding of things. She just did not want to be with me in this life anymore. This dynamic to our relationship I believed helped dramatically with our situation.

The only problem that this belief did cause me was that I had a very hard time moving on, as was suggested by many of my friends and family members. It seemed to make the divorce that much more depressing. There was something I read that really helped me with this.

I will be going on a tangent. It was a crushing blow to me when my wife gave me the ILYBNILWY speech. I was dumb, and never viewed love as a living thing. My mind could not grasp this, and it was devastating for me.

But then I read the part in DB about how I was somehow able to make my wife fall in love with me once, and that it is not impossible to do it again. In fact, I had the upper tract on how to do this because I was the only one that she had married. The next important thing to learn was to focus on ENJOYING this journey of wooing over my Ex again. This whole thought process definitely helped.

This leads me to the next spiritual moment that gave me hope. I was attending church on Easter Sunday in 2011. This was during the time that my Ex HATED me and everything about me!!! . I believe there are many out there that know what I am talking about. It is when some sort of alien has replaced the once lovable spouse with something that is no longer recognizable as being human anymore.

Anyway, as always during Easter, there were talks about the resurrection of Jesus Christ, and how important it is to us. And then it hit me. Love is a living thing. The love between myself and my Ex was dead. But just as miraculous was the resurrection of Jesus Christ; that is bringing life back from the dead; so too could my dead marriage be resurrected through His help. This was my candle that I looked to whenever I felt like the darkness was going to overcome me.

The last thing that helped was an answer to a prayer back in June of 2011. The divorce was nearing a finish, and I had to make a few decisions that would possible affect my life forever. My Ex was asking for full physical custody, joint custody on everything else. I had every right to fight, and to fight hard for joint physical custody. While praying about this, I received a strong answer that I cannot explain. I was told to show Charity towards my Ex.

I do not suggest this for anyone. But I did allow the Ex to have the full physical custody. To her credit, she never used the kids as a pawn, and I could see them whenever I wanted; which turned out to be more than 50% of the time anyways. It came down to receiving more child support money for her.

There are other examples that I will discuss later on where I helped her. When we were starting to get back together, one of things she mentioned was how noble I was for some of the things that I did for her. Sometimes, you just have to follow that sixth sense when you receive an answer to a prayer.

Earlier I stated that the decisions I made regarding my divorce might not be for everyone. I do suggest that you listen to and to act upon any spiritual promptings sent your way. Everyone’s circumstances are unique.