Now it is time to think about where I go from here, if anywhere.
Obviously, there was no progress with us. He wants to remain friends and of course, there is no pressure from OW to give me up as we are only friends!
I need to decide what I want to do.
I have re-read the Going Dark link provided by Cadet. I know that it is not recommended, but I am wondering if there isn't a benefit in my case to asking him not to contact me until I contact him. I truly may never contact him but I do not think that is the case. My logic is that I want a break from waiting to hear from him and if I tell him not to call me, then I am not hoping he will call, the continual checking of the phone would stop and I would cease hugging my phone waiting for a text that only sporadically comes. Because I feel as if I just "go dark", I will still be watching and waiting.
I also just feel that when he calls, I should return his call. Maybe not right away, but then the returning of the call takes on monumental importance.
I have not made any decision, but I would love some feed back. I know now, more than ever before that I need to let go and detach. This latest experience will help with that. I am hoping the darkness will also help.
I do not know when the next time we will see each other will be, if ever. I have been able to find a few "long distancers" here on the Board but visits appear to be frequent (25yrMLC is an example, but I do not think OW was involved).
There is no doubt that I will put more focus on me and my life. But right now, until I am ready for the Last, Last Resort Technique, I at least want to keep our options open, however truly miniscule our chance at reconciling are.
