Busting, I would not allow your H to bring his buddies to the house anymore. The boundaries are not clear, i.e. Did he move out or not? If he's even introducing the OW to people, he should not be "hanging out" at your house or inviting anyone to stay in it. I would express this with kind politeness but firmly.
In regard to the cousin issue: Maybe you can say that given the situation, his cousin would be better off staying with him and the OW.
I totally see your confusion and surprise.
My main message is: establish boundaries soon...
I agree with this wholeheartedly.
I realize that you might fear that if you say "no", it will push him further away. He will undoubtedly be upset at first. So what? Why should you put your feelings aside because he wants to have his cake and eat it too?
I did a little research for you. Hope it helps.
Quote:
What is a Boundary?
It is a property line that defines where I end and where you begin. Confusion in relationships often comes as a result of others’ not knowing where our boundaries are.
Healthy boundaries allow us to take ownership of what we are responsible for and to whom we are responsible. They provide a structure for balance and success in life and work. When we are free to set limits without guilt; we are also free to love without resentment.
Setting boundaries is not a means of an end to relationship. It is the means to laying the groundwork for improving relationships. Limits draw a line of respect. Without respect, love begins to erode.
Achieving a healthy life balance requires us to establish personal boundaries around the things we value in our lives. Modeling this behavior and respecting it in others will go a long way in developing authentic and lasting relationships.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
