AS - Just finished your entire story (I sure hope my work isn't tracking my internet usage these last couple weeks)
Hey Spartan, that line cracks me up because that was me too, I spent weeks doing next to no work while living on these forums reading threads going back years and years! Thank goodness things were pretty slow at work.
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I hope I can stay as calm and disciplined as you do. I do think of things you and other DB'ers have told me when I interact with W which has been helping my sitch.
Great, that is the key, that is exactly how I have managed to stick with it. When something comes up I recall things I have read here or in DR and respond accordingly. It's basically a relearning process and it gets easier the more you do it.
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I completely know how you feel with this one. I've given up trying to convince my wife her rewritten history is BS. It's tough but because of this site I understand why and what she is doing and it has made it easier to detach.
Good. It really helps to know not only what you need to do (or not do), but the reasons why. I think once you understand why, then it's a lot easier to do things that at first seem counterintuitive.
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I know the truth and I keep telling myself deep down she does to and someday she'll figure it out again. Gotta keep hope right?
Definitely, hope is what keeps us going. Early on I desperately clung to hope that my M would be saved despite everyone (including our MC) saying it was over. The thing is, even if it was over, people need to be more sensitive to the needs of someone in that sitch. They need hope to survive, and if you steal it from them you are hurting them and hurting their recovery efforts. This place was the only refuge that offered any hope at all. Anyway, some day your W will emerge from the fog and will remember the truth. It's impossible to know how long it will take and whether it will lead to reconciliation, but it will happen.
