TheUF - Changing gears - Dropping the rope?

[theUF]

I called her and told her about my commitments and that I would not be able to have S at that time. That I had forgot about our talk and unfortunately things crashed a bit now, my bad.

She said she was frustrated but "it is what it is". She would ask her mother to step in. Also, she said that It seemed my primary objective was to sabotage her plans in case of OM, and that I couldn't be doing that just b/c it could be an OM in the picture.

I told her "I see how I gave that impression yesterday. I'm completely aware of the fact we are not together anymore and you are free to do what you want. My primary objective is for us to be able to communicate on relation to S. I appreciate if you keep me posted on what will be the arrangement with S. I'm free to have him x or x." and I left it at that and we said good bye on good terms.

I do need to let go of the fact-finding tendencies, and judging her privat life decisions. I'm not being consistent at all on this point.
I hope to be able to let go of her completely. I need it and she needs it, no matter what the future holds. I'm the only one who can work on that and make it happen.

About 24 hour rules and what not. I try to respond to her straight away if face to face, and to respond fairly quickly otherwise.
However.....if I feel upset or hurt then I realize my head is probably not in the right place and I choose to give myself time before responding/reacting. This has worked quite well and I know this has helped me on several occasions by reacting more healthy. .