What a fine and polished script. Let's break it down.
"The plan to get rid of self-righteousness is to never accuse my W of anything."
Wrong. The key to get rid of self-righteousness is understanding. By you not "accusing your W of anything", you don't learn anything that got you where you were in the first place. And let's face it, it seems you started her on this path.
"I also (except one short email in June) NEVER used our Christian beliefs, or the Bible to condemn her"
So what is this..."(of course, living in sin doesn't go well together)" if not condemning her? Did you have sex prior to marriage? If so, then you "lived in sin".
" nasty as I am, wouldn't have inflicted to my worse enemy what I had to go through upon my arrival."
And neither did she. She just chose to not think about you. There's a difference. It's not as if she schemed to have those things happen to you, yet you blame her for it.
"Although her filing for D is in a sense, her getting mad at me for asking to have my son more time."
She wanted a D before the issue of your son came up.
"I wrote an email, (beginning as usual with a compliment and ending with an encouragement, and nice in the middle)"
You act as if just your actions will bring her back. They will not. If you read DR, you will understand that you have to UNDERSTAND things from your wife's POV and why she felt like she had to do what she did. It's not an easy decision and just some superficial actions will not bring her back emotionally. She has to feel like you are on her side.
"To show generosity and less self-centredness, I gave her back in July a check of big amount, to "help with the expenses".
You should have done that regardless to fund your son's well-being. Your saying that it was an act of "generosity" shows that you were acting self-righteous. You should have been taking care of your son no matter what had happened.
That's what you don't get. She really thought you didn't care about him and her.
"At first she refused to cash it, but a month or two after, she said she was entitled to this, that, and she would cash the check."
Which she is.
"Even if I am responsible for losing that "emotional connection", is it a reason to DIVORCE?
The "emotional connection" isn't the reason why she's divorcing you. It's because you were...""distant, selfish and perhaps even neglected her."
Would you want to stay with a woman who was (in your own words) distant, selfish, and neglectful?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
