A newcomer's story

[justjudy]

AS I was just re-reading your calm and thoughtful advice, thanks again.

I couldn't help but notice quite a few similarities in our life situation. Similar ages..me 46, H 49. A D 17 about to head off to university, and a younger child, D10. Also M22, together 25. So timeframes all very similar. The mind just spins doesn't it wondering how they can just turn their back on all those years.

I have thought some more about H's "kept house too tidy" complaint. Sure on its own its just ridiculous but thinking it through...perhaps he was really complaining about inflexibility and priorities. I admit having the house nice is important to me and I do have my own ways I like stuff done. I know he has had difficulty articulating what he's actually thinking so I try to think beyond the actual words to the motivation and thought process and so take on board what he's really trying to say.

I guess what I am trying to say is that even when the complaints seem just plain silly there can be a kernel of truth that we LBS need to think about, accept, and perhaps work on.

BTW New 180... Cut my hair off!! Gone from long, dark blonde to short brunette!! Love it!! Lots of compliments all round. Very happy.

And new baby step today...H had to drop around this morning with D10's bike for a "bike ed" session at school. He used to always leave for work earlier than me and would toss the newspaper from the top of the driveway and try to get it to land on the front doormat. It was a bit of a fun challenge but of course that had stopped then he moved out and since then even if the paper was right there when he came over he just didn't even see it. Today knowing he would be over early with the bike I left the paper there just to see what he would do... newspaper up, and brought it down the driveway and handed it to me.