On the surface it sounds like and smells like MLC but one never can really tell until some time has past. Whether your W's behavior is MLC or not does not change the journey you are about to undertake.
You are lucky that you have found this place, it has saved many lives.....mine included.
There are many different stories here on these boards, many different people and many different situations, however the one thing that they ALL have in common is TIME. It takes time for all this to work out one way or the other.
Whether your motivation is to save your marriage or not your steps will be the same and the time it takes to take those steps is much longer than you can imagine. Think in weeks not days, months not weeks and years not months.....trust me I am not exaggerating.
I know that may seem discouraging but there will come a day when you will realize that time is your friend however the FULL realization does not come until after the time has past. You will get lots of advice and opinions here, and if you stick around you will make some of the best friends ever. I did.
The best advice I can give you is to distance yourself as much as possible from the storm that is your wife. The less contact you have the better things will be for you!!! I can tell you with a VERY HIGH degree of accuracy that the only thing you can do is harm yourself and the situation by interacting with her. Think of her as if she lives in another country and you will not see her for 2 or 3 months, maybe longer.
Try to wrap your head around that......it will help you in the long run and in the short run too. Virtually no contact if possible and when you do keep it short, cordial and polite and never ask her anything.....ever.
The thing to remember is that this whole thing, the book, this website, your situation is more about YOU than it is about your marriage. You may or may not save your marriage........but you absolutely will save yourself!!! Save yourself first......then you may save your marriage. It will take a very long time for that to sink in, when it does you will start to notice your progress.
Hope this helps.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
