TheUF - Changing gears - Dropping the rope?

[theUF]

This is why I like this forum, you get the truth. Many friends and family try to sugar coat things.

We didn't discuss who would have S as we were still together and living at her parents. I think we just had a silent understanding that either I would have him or her mother. Her mother has been great at helping out with S and she really cares for him.

Now we are not living together anymore.

She reminded me that we even briefly mentioned the concert when arranging when/who/where with S. I told her "yes now that you mention it I do remember we briefly talked about it. Unfortunantly I forgot, and now I don't see a way to arrange for me to have him"

So to be fair, her frustration is justified. I'm the one who forgot.

We've talked about it before, that sooner or later some appointmets would crash. We will see how it plays out when it actually does.


I make excuses b/c I'm sure if I don't explain she will make up her own reasons in her mind. "oh it's just bc he X or X or X"
Or maybe that's just what I tell myself to justify it

BUT

I can see what you mean!
It does come across as passive agressive.
I can see it coming across, in this instance, as me going "hey I don't like this and I'm gonna do X and X to stop it, but these are my excuses for doing it, so you can't get mad at me for it", doesn't it?

Maybe I should give it a long hard thought, do I want to stop it? Would I want to sabotage? Of course, in this case my hands are tied anyway, but if not...would I choose differently?

I will read your post again tomorrow, as well as you other posts. I will reflect some more and try to get it to sink in. I've got to stop slipping. I will update tomorrow-ish about how I handled the situation.