Everyone here is has either been a LBS or a WAS. Both sides will tell you that talking at this point will make things much worse. If the WAS has given the ILYBNILWY speech, then they will respond to the R talk with telling you they want a D. If they've already said the "D" word, then they will move out. Whatever or wherever things stand right now, it will jump into much worse.
Every LBS wants to fix things by having a R talk. The majority of LBS's are "fixers", so please don't use that excuse for not controlling yourself. In fact, you are the only person you can control.
I spent years & years talking to my H about the R. I know about talking! I thought that was how people worked things out. But I have learned that you can work on the R without talk. Yes, it's hard and it's not my nature (I'm a fixer too)....but I can do it. On the flip side, I became the WAS years later, and the last thing I wanted was my LBH talking to me about our R.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
