TheUF - Changing gears - Dropping the rope?

[theUF]

So I've noticed my X has been really short and mean tempered towards me. For no apperant reason.

She was nice in the beginning after BD, but the more I detach or distance myself, the more she does too.

So I asked her straight out why. She says b/c I've been short and mean tempered/angry towards her.
Well yeah..I've been short, down to business and distant(detaching), and sometimes I need my time and space. But I havent been giving her an attitude. On occasion I have been in bad mood and even a bit angry, but no arguing.
I don't really get why her anger surfaces time and time again?


Before we broke up she ordered tickets for a concert(two days), and next week she is going there. I don't know with who.

Unfortunantly there is a project coming up at work, and they really need me for it(b/c of qualifications). If I skip work those two days, I will make troubles for everyone and will have to skip the whole project.

So I told her sorry, I'm complete swamped, and will have to turn everything upside down if I'm gonna have S those two days of the concert. I could try but would really doubt I could arrange anything. I also said that I would not turn everything upside down if she was planning to go with some other man. Not for the sake of sabotaging, but b/c I couldn't respect myself I turn life upside down for myself just so she could be with someone else.

Of course she tried the guilt game, by saying I didn't really care about spending time with S. That my time with him was conditional for me.

She said it's not any of my business, and that sooner or later she could be in a situation with another man and then I would sooner or later have to have S while she spends time with OM.

I tried again to make my point about it not being to sabotage, but not sure if she believed it. She said she wasn't going with other man, but didn't want to say it at first b/c when she asked I wasn't clear if -I- had found someone new.

My god the drama!
Why can't we just behave like adults?
Why can't we put things aside and do what's best for S?
Why does it have to be a game with a winner and a loser?

I know...it's not my business who she spends time with, and I realise she is free. I have no wish to sabotage. But considering how this affects my work I can't really help her. I would feel especially bad if it was for the sake of her spending time with some other guy. Is this unreasonable? B/c I really don't see it that way.

I really am trying my best to put all my negative emotions aside and focus on how we can do what is best for S. And I try to get through to her about my wish; that we can communicate properly.

I feel I'm not having any luck though...
I want her to feel free, b/c well, she is. But I have to look out for ME as well.

I would appreciate the thoughts of someone neutral here;

Am I letting my emotions take control?
How can I get through to her about my intentions and wishes?(Guess me being consistent and showing I'm genuin will be part of it)