Okay so I can begin to understand that but,... What if the constant lying is stepping on an important boundary to me? I need honesty in a relationship to be able to trust that person. Without trust, is a relationship not already doomed?
I never, not once, suggested not defending a boundary. Nor will I. I think boundaries *can* be helpful and healthy. Searching back...I'm wondering if we're talking the same language. She used the term "lying" but also said that's a gray area (my interpretation; use it how you will). CV mentions that his response is not "lying" but is not completely accurate as CV knows accuracy to be. Therefore, it must be lying.
Am I paraphrasing that correctly?
I think CV also mentioned he said he would do something and then didn't. We discussed ADD after that.
If I've missed something, please - let me know and correct me.
Quote:
So how can I fully accept someone for who they are, lying included but at the same time, protect my boundary of being lied to?
Let's agree to the term lying first, shall we. I don't feel like we did earlier in the thread. I think "lying" was bandied about, but some of the instances may have been different than black and white lying. Potato/potahtoe
Your boundary is your boundary. Plainly. His boundary is his. Figuring out how to deal with each other's boundaries is part of life. We always have to figure that stuff out with each new person we meet and each day with those we feel we know.
Knowing and communicating your boundary in a way the other can understand (not what you understand - what they understand) is your responsibility as it is theirs in return.
Make sense?
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
