This is the website for the Heroes Spouse - it is actually a website for midlife crisis, so its a bit too heavy....personally I think its somehwta weird, but I did like how they explained what they call the "unconditionals".
The other website is about emotional affairs...just google emtional affair journey. There's a blog and a paid membership, I did not pay for it but the blog has some good stuff. One of the things I learned was that EA's are as destrcutive, or even more, than PA's sometimes.
As usual, I'd caution you to keep an open mind, but it does help to know that others are in as much pain as we are.
About the lying....of course he kept it from you, because remember how we are the problem to our spouses when it happened? But remember that the expectation for them to not do wrong is what will make them afraid to be completely open.
Last week my H called me to tell me that x-OW came to SF and called H. She was with her fiance (or husband, not sure!) and actually introduced my H to him, as she invited H to join them for lunch. Anyways, although interesting, what really made an impact on me was that this is the first time H volunteered information about exOW, because I realized that he finally realized too that I will not get angry about it.
It was such a relief to be able to talk about it without tension. I asked H what the fiance was like, etc. and we just chatted about it like they were just acquaintances we both knew.
I also finally got the sense that H is over it as he did not appear to be affected by the encounter.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
