MLC, affair, internet pictures, we're a mess

[cantslowdown]

so far counseling was a bust. I said i wanted to communicate better to save the marriage. She said she wanted ME to communicate better so she could leave the marriage (on her own timetable of course). We devolved into a he said she said and it was disgusting. We both suck. I did say if she wants to leave, leave now, if she wants to stay and USE me for her timetable, then she needs to get on board with communication FOR REAL.

At the end the counselor was like "look up child custody stuff together" and at that point I took a FIRM stand. I said I will gladly help her do whatever she needs to do to find her sense of self fulfillment or purpose in life, but under no circumstances would I help her move out. I said we owe to the people who were once "in love," and had children that now depend on them, to get to know these two new adults who are on the other side of all this crap. Then, if we don't like who we are together, rational decisions can be made, but right now it is all being "decided" in emotional disarray.