I hosted my girls at my rather spartan pad for the first time this weekend. They are 5 and 2 and are both amazingly kind and loving girls. I am truly blessed to have them.
Of course, this was also the weekend I found out about (confirmed) my wife's affair, so I was jumble of heartbreak. But I realized that my wife is really doing the best she can. She is struggling.
I dropped off the girls' weekend stuff at the house after taking them to school. My wife was there. She looked a mess. I don't mean that critically. She just looked tired and had a very hard time looking at me in the eye.
As I looked at her, I just loved her. Not in a sappy way, but in the way I wish someone would look at me as I flounder in my emotional mess. We are in many ways a reflection of each other right now. While the hurt is in both of us, I feel so much happier if I just focus on the love I have for her. Though hugging and kissing and loving words are not an option right now, I can still love her with my actions and attitude. I'm focused on this approach right now.
It makes me feel better and that is a good thing, right?
