The current game plan she wants is to visit the kids M-F anytime she wants and weekends she gets the kids. I assume the same thing for me (visit anytime). Of course this leads me to why is she leaving?
The game plan, i would rather go with is M-F, i get the kids since we agreed I can fit my schedule to met our kids needs. Friday night, she would pick them up and drop them off Sunday Night. I would allow visitation rights, if she gives me notification (few hours ahead of time). Essentially if we are going to split and continue the path of D, then i want to start what it would look like later. Because If I am with another women, i doubt she will be pleased if my EX-W just drops in anytime she wants. I sure as heck, don't want to see her with OM.
She wants to think, I am suggesting this for myself but it is for the kids stablity. I don't want the kids to be confused, where Mom is leaving the house every day to go back to her apartment. Or we act like a family everyday, then one day when her OM comes along, things change.
We can't do split days or split weeks because her job isn't flexible. Plus I am not into the whole 2-3-2 day format or every other week because of our job flexibility and I don't want to play maid (she originally wanted me to watch the kids during the day, as I work, when she finished work, she would pick them up)
The problem is...legally i can't stop her from visiting the house anytime she wants unless D actually happened. Hence why i am debating if i should just sign it as soon as it comes.
I hope to talk to her about this situation and make her understand we need to do what is best for the kids, not what is best for us. Because lets face it, we are selfish for our own needs. Yes, I want her to experience the pain of reality.
She got this grand picture if she is with the OM. That we would be co-parent and best friends and our kids will grow up fine with no issues. The truth is, if she leaves, she has her life, I have my life. We can co-parent, but I am not her babysitter. I already made it clear, if she goes on dates with OM on weekends, I will not baby sit for her, she needs to find someone who will help or she needs to baby for a baby sitter. Can't come to me and expect i drop my own plans for her.
So TG, we are both stuck in similar situations. I think the only way to stop them is to legally sign the D papers unless you can reason with your H.
Either that, start going out on days he is coming to visit the kids. Force your H to spend time with them alone, while you go out. Make up dates with girls/guys to keep yourself mysterious.
I figure, if my W won't stop visiting, then i will simply leave when she comes home. But I won't do this, until I am done wine and dining her like a date (after all it is a new R). Make myself mysterious, make her wonder what I am doing.
Maybe thats what you need to do with your H, make yourself sexy, go get a new hair style, dress nice and when he comes visit, you go out. Or tell him to babysit the kids, while you go out. When you get back, bring back a beautiful smile and glow of postive energy.
There are advantages with your H visiting everyday...entice him, help him remember that beautiful person who he married. Don't be needy be exotic. I hate to say it, but this is a game...and the OM/OW is doing things to entice our spouses. Its only fair play we do the same thing.
At the end if my game plan backfires...well its not like things can get any worse....haha..she left anyway.
