FLTC: When I read this today I honestly did not know how to reply to you. I am very glad that KML did. She has much more knowledge of this and you need professional help here - not what we on this board can offer you.
The only thing I can really add is this. What might happen if you do not intervene? How would you feel if you did not step up to the plate and help your daughter who, whether you like it or not, has been a victim of the breakdown of her family.
It is much easier to deal with the prevention of a disaster than to live with the fallout.
That's all I've got except to say - I'm sorry for all you are going through. But it's not ALL ABOUT YOU. It is about her.
