Busting, thanks so much My parents' divorce was also brutal. I was actually brought in to testify, they coached me to say terrible things about my mother in an attempt to make her appear unfit. I was a young teen and still remember sitting outside that courtroom with my stomach feeling like I had swallowed a thousand needles. It was awful. And the actual testifying was worse.
So I have yet another development, just received this email from my brother:
Quote:
I found out some information while at Mom's. I heard that (W) is having second thoughts about leaving and is really torn about it. She still doesn't think she's "in love" with you any more from what I understand but I think she's having a lot of conflict because of the effect it's all having on the kids. She says she thinks you've changed, but when she found out you weren't going in for Thanksgiving or Christmas her first thought was "he hasn't changed because he's not thinking about the kids, only about himself". She says she always puts the kids first and she doesn't think you care as much about the kids. This is all second hand so I haven't talked to (W), but when I talked to her a few months ago the same theme came up about the kids. I wanted to let you know.
When I talked to W last night I did explain to her that while I enjoyed us going together to kid functions, I felt like it was preventing her from getting enough space from me and that she really needs that space so she can determine if I'm the reason for her unhappiness or not. I told her that if she figures out it's not me that she needs to figure out how to address it. So hopefully she understands the space isn't about me not doing stuff with the kids, it's about giving her space.
And while I do still want to reconcile, it's got to be for the right reasons. I'm not going to just throw the door open to her and invite her back home because she thinks it's best for the kids. The whole reason we're where we are is because we put the kids before our own R. That's got to change.
My parents' divorce was also brutal. I was actually brought in to testify, they coached me to say terrible things about my mother in an attempt to make her appear unfit. I was a young teen and still remember sitting outside that courtroom with my stomach feeling like I had swallowed a thousand needles. It was awful. And the actual testifying was worse. 
