Hi JJ, it sounds like you're doing great with your DB'ing and GAL activities! Good job! When you read DR it goes into the "baby steps" to watch for, many of us get so zoned in on looking for big changes in our spouse that we totally miss the baby steps. It'll also walk you through re-evaluating what you're doing now and then to make sure you're on the right track. It's important that if you see no progress, to try something different and monitor the results.
In your OP you mentioned how H doesn't seem to remember anything good about the M. This is very typical. Whether WAS or MLC'er, they almost all rewrite history to where they remember the bad but not the good. They're not lying about it, they really do just remember bad stuff. It takes time before the "fog lifts" and they remember the good too.
Originally Posted By: justjudy
I used to read a lot but find i can't keep my brain on track and used to play piano a lot but it makes me sad coz i used to play for H.
That's OK, often when getting into GAL activities people find that old hobbies bring back bad memories so they avoid them. Often it's more helpful to pick up completely new hobbies/ activities and it sounds like you're doing great at that. With time you'll likely be able to pick up the old hobbies without the bad memories coming back.
