Meanwhile, I'd love some feedback please. This was an email exchange I just had with H, in regards to some issues MIL is having with FIL and his aging/failing health/mental capacities. Since my focus at this point is primarily figuring out how to interact in a healthy way, I'm trying to determine what went wrong here, or if it's just me and it actually makes sense to everyone else.
CV: My question about the urgency is that you seem frantic to do something to fix FIL and MIL's relationship (as if you have that power,) but rather indifferent to our issues that have been going on for years. I don't get that. Is it because you figure you have 6 years so there's no rush? From the outside looking in, it appears that you are more concerned about their marriage than you are your own. You blow off my suggestion to wait and do it in person because you feel like you need to do something right away even if it's in email or by phone. THAT'S a sense of urgency. With me, it's "I've got a counseling session next Tuesday..".... as you go back to shopping craigslist or looking at joke emails from Conrad, etc.
H: I feel like I do sense urgency. In fact, I struggle with the “6 years” as in, why wait if that’s the plan? Yes, S12 is a concern, but his witnessing our conflict is just as wrong. Counseling cost$ that is well worth it. Yet, if I’m trying to underwrite our finances, I can’t be spending $ on even counseling, I feel. We have got to learn how to communicate effectively, more harmoniously. We have that opportunity, and can teach S12 if we do it right.
Other than the initial "I feel like I do sense urgency," I'm not relating his responses to anything I said. I even asked him to reread my paragraph and respond again, so he did and just cut-and-pasted the same paragraph. Enter the "crazy-making" for me. Am I the only one that sees this communication as disjunct?
