Wow AS I'm so happy for you. You have spent your time productively, healing and growing. So, whats the secret???
Man I smell an infomercial coming up lol.
Haha! Well I do have this special drink available only through my web site for a small fee
You know, I've really been thinking of how I ended up here and I would have to give credit first to DB'ing, and second to the Married Man Sex Life Primer. DB'ing gave me hope for my M when I didn't have it anywhere else. And even though in the end my M may not be saved, I needed that hope in the beginning to help me survive. The belief that my M would be saved is what got me through the roughest parts. The MMSLP helped open my eyes to the fact that my W is NOT the only woman in the world for me, and if it doesn't work out with W then there are plenty of other fish in the sea. And DR and MMSLP both taught me that working on myself would help me rebuild the self esteem I lost at BD and they taught me how to find myself after having sacrificed much of myself in 2 decades of marriage.
Originally Posted By: rubytuesday
I agree AS... nicely done these past posts. I would love to be at the point you are, but I have a long long way to go.
What is the best piece of advice you have, do you think, that got you where you are?
Thanks! The best piece of advice I can offer is that there is not one single golden bullet in this. DB'ing really does have to be an all-inclusive, holistic process. It's very important to hold hope in your heart regardless of how ugly things look. Initially the hope is that you can reconcile, but eventually the hope becomes that you WILL have a better life with or without your spouse. Once you realize that it really is true that you will have a better life, detaching gets a lot easier.
And it's really important to work on ourselves. For me the weight-lifting was a major part of this. Actually seeing physical change/ improvement just made me feel so much better about myself, and it made me want to dress better and groom better. And it drove me to keep improving myself. Honestly I don't think W cares if I'm a big hunk of muscle with six pack abs or a soft couch potato, but I needed it for me.
Well I have an interesting development in my sitch, I'll type it up in the next post.
