It's been a fairly long time since I clung to this website like a life preserver, checking it every 10 minutes for advice to just keep myself afloat back in 2005 when XW said she wanted out.
For those of you who have followed my story, you know it but for those who haven't, it would take forever to recap.
Here's the latest:
1. I got remarried in 2010 to an absolutely great woman, but XW consistently used my 3 kids alternately as weapons and human shields.
2. She began an affair in 2006(?) with her boss who is an attorney in the law office where she is the office manager. She just moved into his 2.5 million dollar house, and with her went S14.
She declared, due to his newly diagnosed "ADHD", that he would not be able to be with me overnight during the week, due to the "consistency needed" for him to be in one place. She moved him 30 miles away from me, so my visitation went from 2 nights a week overnight to zero, "because she decreed it", completely running roughshod over an approved parenting plan.
3. I am back in court with her to stop alimony b/c of her cohabitation, which is clearly spelled out, and to try and resolve the fact that by moving, she has made it 100x more difficult to be involved with S14, who I "get to see" every other weekend now.
4. HERE'S THE KICKER:
D20 attended a high-priced college (53K a year). I refused to pay more than what I was directed to by the court, b/c I always thought going to this school was not the right thing to do, but D20 INSISTED on going there and XW somehow found the rest of the money to make it happen.
D20 has struggled for years with major eating disorder. As you may recall, she was hospitalized in 2008 for it, just when I returned from Iraq. D20 has always lived with her mother, and basically "tolerated" me and my new wife. Visits were always filled with "digs" and "sarcasm" on D20's part, and I was always glad to see her leave. (Don't judge, b/c some of you may be able to relate)
D20 wanted my old car to take to a summer job at a beach 200 miles away over the summer. I told her she could if she insured it, which she never did.
She did not talk to me for 4 months, because I said "no" to the car.
A month ago, D20 attempted suicide in a horrific manner in her apartment at school and was found by her shocked roommates. She was hospitalized, and then refused to eat again.
My wife and I met with XW and her "companion", who really turned out to be a voice of reason, so I guess I'll never know how XW presented me to him when I was in Iraq.
Here's the bottom line:
XW unilaterally declares "D20 can't come and live with us,when she's released. I need to save the one child remaining (S14). She blew it with D23 and now D20
My wife left the meeting apoplectic, saying "I didn't do anything to make these kids fu...ed up, and now I'm being asked to clean up the mess for her, just because she declares she doesn't want D20 and declares we need to take her?"
D20 is super-manipulative. XW has unilaterally washed her hands of D20, declaring "You will go with your father and his new wife".
I have been set up beyond belief. Don't judge me, because you don't really know D20. I can't have her come and live with me. Period. I am overcome with guilt, even though I didn't do anything wrong, but I won't be pained into a corner by XW.
It will kill my marriage, b/c D20 and XW and D23 are totally enmeshed with each other in a sick way.
How do I firmly state that I cannot allow D20 to live with me?
