I can't seem to post anymore on my original post so I thought I would start a new one. I guess I'm now in phase 2 - H has moved out and moved in with OW (cause he's 40 and doesn't want to live with his parents quote unquote). My D and I and our dogs are still living in our family home and will be til at least the end of the school year.
This morning I'm at a loss as to what I should be sharing with him about our daughter and how she is reacting to all of this. She is 5 and knows that daddy had moved out "for a while" but doesn't know about OW. He is spending time at the house with her and we were out at an xmas function together this weekend. She's always very happy when he's around but then when he's gone she's sad and says a lot of things that break my heart. Last night after she went to bed she woke up screaming and crying for me so loud I actually thought someone was in her room. She was having a bad dream so I let her come to bed with me. When she got up this morning I asked her what her dream was about and she said when she woke up she didn't have a mom and dad. To put it more perspective for those who didn't read, we adopted our D 4 years ago. I told her she would always have a mom and dad and we loved her very much. She then said "mommy please don't leave" of course I told her I wouldn't. I told her it was okay to be sad sometimes and mommy would help her not be sad. She then while eating her breakfast drew a picture of just me and her. Broke my heart I haven't shared any of the things she has said or done with him, in fear that he thinks I'm "using" her to get him back. But should I be telling him these things? I know he would feel tremendous guilt but I don't want to be the person who makes him feel it, he needs to feel it himself. Any advice?
