Hmmm, alot of what you posted sounded self-righteous to me. Even what you posted to sweetbabyred. Just because you say "sorry" doesn't mean that she's going to believe you've changed.
"I know this sounds crazy, and you probably think I am exaggerating, but she does think she's doing my a favour by granting me two visits a week!"
Why should she think any different? You didn't show any interest before and spent your time on sports. Just because you SAY you've changed, doesn't mean that you have.
"I'm NOT trying to force respect on anyone,"
It's very obvious you are.
"but I think that I gave several opportunities for her to make a step in my direction,"
That's very big of you. What you don't seem to understand is that you lost her respect in the first place. Just because you say you've "changed" doesn't mean she needs to start turning towards you. It's arrogant to think this.
"So far, she didn't feel ANY of the consequences of her choice to separate. "
Of course not, because you weren't there before when you thought things were good. That's why she doesn't miss you or think anything of it because emotionally you've been absent.
"I am not the victim,"
Yes you're acting like one or else you wouldn't have posted all of the things that happened to you.
"W stopped attending church (of course, living in sin doesn't go well together),"
Very self-righteous attitude.
"she rarely smiles, she changed lots."
Of course not. You don't think this affects her? On some level it does. But she's tired of being hurt by you and is trying to get over the pain of breaking up the family. She's afraid to go back to you because she thinks you'll never change (because you didn't before). What guarantee does she have that you will? So right now she's not willing to take the chance with you and feels that being on her own would be happier than life with you.
"She's not the cheerful girl I knew back in France. What happened?"
You did. Your behavior changed her. I don't think you seem to grasp that. In the beginning, I'm sure you showed her plenty of respect and attention and she reciprocated in kind. Then when your son was born, she started spending more time on him (which is a perfectly natural thing for a mother to do) but you resented it. So rather than helping, you did the opposite. You spent less time with her and more on yourself. So she didn't have a partner in you. You used to be someone who could empathize and be compassionate towards her needs. Once you stopped, you broke that connection.
I know that France is a male-dominated society. But once you treat a woman like that, you will lose her respect.
If you really are "changed", you have to start seeing things from he point of view and truly understand it. That's the only way to save your M.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
