Still cycling through lots of emotions (seems like it changes by the hour sometimes). H still pretty friendly. Gave me a high five after D's basketball game. I know it sounds pretty small (even lame) but there has been NO physical contact since he left and it was more of a sweet close high five not a crazy excited one. Now reading that I know it sounds a little desperate . But then he came to get kids on Friday, I was dressed to go out. He complimented me, said I looked nice. I went out, had fun, had a couple guys flirt with me. I can't lie, it was a nice ego boost. Spent Saturday with my family, my brother is a coach and his team played. H asked me to keep him updated, lots of texts back and forth, H excited for my brother. I'm not even sure where I'm going with this - just rambling. I guess I'm feeling a little lost. I wish there was something to "fix". But just thinki g how H has said he just doesn't love me. And I keep wondering what next year will look like. Will I look back to this year and think I was silly for holding out some hope for R? Will I look back and see this as the hard time I had to get through to get to a better place? Will I still be in a holding pattern with H? I know, I can't predict or control that so I need to let it go. I did have a good day with my kids, then a late call and emails from H has me feeling lonely at bedtime. I'm going to go back and read through my posts and re-read all the support I e gotten from people here.
. But then he came to get kids on Friday, I was dressed to go out. He complimented me, said I looked nice. I went out, had fun, had a couple guys flirt with me. I can't lie, it was a nice ego boost. Spent Saturday with my family, my brother is a coach and his team played. H asked me to keep him updated, lots of texts back and forth, H excited for my brother. I'm not even sure where I'm going with this - just rambling. I guess I'm feeling a little lost. I wish there was something to "fix". But just thinki g how H has said he just doesn't love me. And I keep wondering what next year will look like. Will I look back to this year and think I was silly for holding out some hope for R? Will I look back and see this as the hard time I had to get through to get to a better place? Will I still be in a holding pattern with H? I know, I can't predict or control that so I need to let it go. I did have a good day with my kids, then a late call and emails from H has me feeling lonely at bedtime. 