CV, one thing is clear, which is that you are better with logic than abstract. And, you learn best through personal experience.
To that, I can only say, it will make sense to you when you experience the differences of selfless/unconditional and perspective/attitude.
Again, not a judgement, just a personal observation and opinion. Neither good nor bad.
I remain in complete understanding of the dilemma you find yourself in and understand why you wish to wait 6 years before you bail and hope... that maybe... just maybe... your H will become a better person before you actually have to make a choice to leave...