That sounds like the episode of Friends where Phoebe was trying to convince Joey that there was no such thing as a selfless good deed, that everything had personal payoff and therefore wasn't really selfless. It was hilarious. I couldn't do it justice in the context of whether I'm really tutoring S12 for me or not, so let's just agree to disagree on that.
I appreciate your answer to the moral differences. It's pretty much the reason behind my 6yr plan as well, but I'm always willing to consider something else. To your suggestion that I didn't tell H in a manner that he understood, what does that have to do with my need to change my perspective and stop expecting H to do anything different?