Ya...FB [censored] lol!! I also took the step of removing my posts from all mutual friends walls, so he cannot see my posts either (not even on the kids' pages...)
I am not as strong as you, however, because I can still get access to his page through my kids' . I am trying though
Good for you for not being a spectator anymore!! It is a learning process, but one I would not wish on anyone.
Rubytuesday, most of his posts were visible to the public or friends of friends, so I could see if I really wanted to. I did got through a phase of checking every day, sometimes several times a day, but would get so worked up over it that I decided to concentrate on school and try not to think about him as much.
I don't hide my posts from him or our mutual friends. I want him to see that I'm okay with out him and finally doing all the things I used to be scared of. That might help his idea that I'd be better off without him, but I'm not going to hide.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
Good for you. I am still at the see? Look at me and how good everything is....stage and I feel he doesn't deserve the voyeur privileges into my life either. You can ask or not, but don't be looking through other lenses to find out.
What are you taking in school? Me, a Master's of Arts in Teaching.
Ruby, I'm working on my Master of Library Science. I love books and research, so it should suit me perfectly. I love teaching, but am working on one degree at a time!
Today I went to the store and bought a Christmas tree. Usually I wouldn't put one up just for me, and because I don't really celebrate Christmas, but I decided I wanted one this year.
That'll also give me something holiday related to do on Thanksgiving since I'll be by myself then. I've got a long work day on Friday, so I don't feel like trying to spend time with any of my friends on that day.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
My H is so predictable. I emailed him two weeks ago about the car insurance bill, SS's child support, and closing costs. No response to the email at all, typical.
Yesterday afternoon I texted him, asking when I should expect to be repaid for the insurance, as I've paid two months already. I finally got a response at 1am (was asleep, so I saw it in the am) asking what he owed,which I'd already covered in the email.
I responded, and asked if he'd gotten the email I'd sent. I also asked again about his plans for repaying closing costs since I have to pay tuition in a few weeks.
No response for a few hours, but I remembered that he had my Christmas ornaments in a box since he'd accidentally packed them with his stuff last year. I let him know I was putting up a tree and would really appreciate if I could get those back. That's a huge 180 for me, I'd usually never put up a tree, and less than 5 minutes later, I get a response.
He then asks to use my Microsoft cd since he has to reformat his computer. Once I find it, I'll have no problem letting him use it again, but I need the insurance paid up and I'd really like at least a nominal amount paid toward my closing costs or his son's child support, which will be taken out of our refund if it's not paid off.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
I've been doing so good, but had a step back tonight. I happened to notice that H is no longer sharing his google calendar with me. Not a big deal, as he didn't really use it much for personal stuff lately, but it had his family members birthdays on it and I noticed that they were gone. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it did.
Then I saw a post from a mutual friend of ours who got married in H's home town yesterday. I happened to see the list of friends who "liked" the post and I guess if you move the cursor over them, you can see a quick preview of each person's profile.
So even though I've been good and not clicked on H's fb profile for about a month now, I see that his cover photo is of him and OW sitting back to back on a ledge, holding hands and posing in front of a building. She's had professional pics done before and it looks like this is a pro shoot as well.
I resisted the urge to actually check his page, as I know it'll just upset me even more. He's married and hasn't even attempted to file. How can either one of them think it's okay? She may be dumb enough to think that we're "not really married since you don't live together" as she told me back in July when they were "just friends", but he knows the truth.
If he wants to move on, he really should pay off his debts to me, as he promised all along, and file, so that I can legally move on as well. It's bad enough that we'll have to file taxes together in April, so that no matter what, I'll still have to nag him for financial info for another 4-5 months or so.
Actually, what's kind of funny is that my cover photo is of a good female friend and I in the exact same pose (minus the hand holding). We were bored at an event and decided to have a mini photo shoot.
I honestly don't know if I could ever take him back. I'm still standing, because at this point I refuse to file for divorce because the problems that we had before this weren't enough to end a marriage and I want him to be the one to end it if he's done.
I guess I'm frustrated because he can decide he's not happy and just move on to another young girl and leave me behind to deal with everything. I'm not the one who wants a new start, with a new person so I shouldn't have to do the paperwork. I shouldn't have to "fix" everything to make his life easier.
And it's funny that ever since OW finally decided to start dating him that he has no time to talk to me and his wish for us to be friends doesn't seem so important any more. He paid off his debts to his best friend right away, yet no payments have been made to me. We were together for almost seven years, so you'd think he'd have the decency to at least pay his debts before he'd move on.
He was the nicest, sweetest man I'd ever met and realizing that he's turned into the exact opposite of everything he ever was just confuses me. I'm a very good judge of character and never saw this coming.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
Ruby, I'm working on my Master of Library Science. I love books and research, so it should suit me perfectly. I love teaching, but am working on one degree at a time!
Today I went to the store and bought a Christmas tree. Usually I wouldn't put one up just for me, and because I don't really celebrate Christmas, but I decided I wanted one this year.
That'll also give me something holiday related to do on Thanksgiving since I'll be by myself then. I've got a long work day on Friday, so I don't feel like trying to spend time with any of my friends on that day.
I love books too!! Was thinking about library science actually lol!!
Find a fabulous tree and decorate the crap out of it!!
I honestly don't know if I could ever take him back. I'm still standing, because at this point I refuse to file for divorce because the problems that we had before this weren't enough to end a marriage and I want him to be the one to end it if he's done.
I guess I'm frustrated because he can decide he's not happy and just move on to another young girl and leave me behind to deal with everything. I'm not the one who wants a new start, with a new person so I shouldn't have to do the paperwork. I shouldn't have to "fix" everything to make his life easier.
And it's funny that ever since OW finally decided to start dating him that he has no time to talk to me and his wish for us to be friends doesn't seem so important any more. I'm a very good judge of character and never saw this coming.
Ya. I never saw it coming either . I would have trusted H if he said jump off this bridge last week. But now that he has been lying, it puts into question the entire relationship.
H doesn't need you to be a "friend" anymore, because he feels he doesn't need a backup. I say "I want a husband, not a friend" and while I can be civil, polite and nice, I don't have to be your friend. His loss SBR.
I was so upset last week about OW that I was ready to file, but you know what? I agree. You want the divorce, you do the work!
Thanks Ruby. I have tons of silver and purple balls all over my tree. It looks great! I'm just missing my old decorations that H has, but even if I don't get them back it's pretty.
My cat is a little unsure of it, but I love it and of course had to post the mandatory pic of it on FB. Not really a GAL activity, but it's a 180 for me.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
Ruby, just saw this post. Yes, I've given up on trying to be friends, at least right now. He isn't treating me with 1/10 of the care he gives any of his other friends, even the ones he knows are just using him. I only contact him when I need to.
H still hasn't paid the car insurance, so instead of texting him again about it for the 3rd time, I set up a Chase bank account so that I can send him an invoice for it. He banks with them and had to use quickpay to pay the amex back in sept, so maybe I'll get the money this way. I'll send the request in the am.
Yep, I filled out all the paperwork for us to get married, buy the house, get health and life insurance, did the taxes and everything else. If he wants to be on his own, it's his turn to do the work.
I want friends who will tell me the truth and not hide things from me. I wouldn't take this behavior from anyone else, so why should I accept it from someone I care(d) so much about?
I was so upset when I found out that he and OW were official that I asked him to send me the papers and I'd fill them out myself. He never did so, and now that we'd still be married at the end of the year, I might as well wait a little longer. I'm worried about our taxes and would have been better off on my own, but the sitch hasn't gotten financially worse recently (as far as I know nothing has really changed since we sold the house) I'm going to let him make the first move.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
. I am trying though