I have been working with someone to help get my wife back. Much of what he has talked about has been in line with the cognitive behavioural therapy that is the basis of Michele's approach.
I work very hard at being happy, pleasant and present around my wife. He also tells me to agree with her - tell her she is right - no matter what. It is difficult. Though she is usually pleasant in all things, she does mix in a certain degree of insult when she can. And she is making some wreckless money choices - I think as both an emotional pacifier and to make me literally pay for the pain. Sometimes it is hard to hide the distress I feel. But I am trying.
I am still wrapping my head around the DB approach and what to do.. My problem is I don't know quite where to start with my wife at this point. She is very suspicious of me and my intentions. She knows I don't want to divorce. And I believe her support network has aligned to encourage her to stay strong in her choice.
