WAS vs. LBS

[Soul.Searching]

I haven't got much time to post right now so I'll try to be quick.
I think AJ did kind of answer my question.

Either way, you're longing for change and not getting it, but possibly going about it the wrong way.

We do have a responsibility to live for us. Part of that is our integrity in living our life. My belief is that we if we make a promise, we keep it. That's for me, because I like that about me. I like knowing that I don't walk away from my promises and my integrity is intact. But that's living for me the way I want to live. I don't control others and never have nor wanted to. I accept them as they are and set my boundaries for how I'll interact with others.

Many times I've been surprised by others because of this. When I've written off somebody for their actions, they have surprised me with their changes. Looking back, much of what I saw was a point in time (sometimes many points in time) where they acted a certain way. But they grew and my perspective changed. Or both



Peace,
AJ

So what I'm getting from this, is that (Using me as an example) I'm honest, trustworthy and faithful. I value my morals and I think I generally have great morals.
So say for example my H continually lies to me, I don't go looking to expose his lies but he is a crappy lier who continually "tells on himself" by not being able to keep up with the lies.
So basically, I Need to realize that he has different morals and beliefs than me and accept him fully, for who he is? Just because I value my honesty and integrity does not mean that I should expect him to have the same morals and beliefs?
I should just truly accept him for who he is? Lying and all? It kinda comes down the the whole control thing, I guess?

Okay so I can begin to understand that but,... What if the constant lying is stepping on an important boundary to me? I need honesty in a relationship to be able to trust that person. Without trust, is a relationship not already doomed?

So how can I fully accept someone for who they are, lying included but at the same time, protect my boundary of being lied to?

I feel in order to be true to myself, I need an honest partner. So is it a matter of ignoring my authentic self and just accept being lied to?
I just don't see how to be able to be authentic to myself, protect my boundary and accept someone fully who lies.

I get the whole acceptance and control stuff but I'm really stuck as to how to change my perception to be able to accept that from a partner.
Yes I could just accept it and push it under the rug but that would be jeperdising my authentic self.