I can see why you'd focus on just yourself & I would do the same in your shoes. For whatever reason, he's not going to change while you and he are in this dynamic.
He errs and he's forgiven and he cheats again, and that's no way for YOU to live. I'm somewhat certain he's not capable of fidelity.
So, if he had passed away a few years ago and you had processed your grief and were finally finding your way to happiness, what would that life look like?
In other words, imagine your life without him, but with you being happy...
What hobbies or work would you be engaged in? Any new folks in your life? Any people NO LONGER in your life?
Would you take a class? Join an organization or a new church?
Would you be dating now? What type of man would you seek out and where?
How would you comfort your kids and guide them? And yourself? What activities and places and people would most comfort you?
Where would you live? Okay detail this vision as much as possible....and then, ask yourself this question:
What of these^^ things/activities can I do NOW, to create a new better happier life for ME?
And for my kids...b/c as the kids see YOUR happiness level ebb and flow, so will theirs.
You must show them that the misery or joy of someone else (like OW or your ex h)
is NOT an index for YOUR happiness. IF his car breaks down, it's not a "good day" for you and if he's appearing happier it's not a BAD day for you.
He is irrelevant. And anyone who cheats like this, serially, is NOT happy inside but it looking for external validation that they are not able to find within.
You have to model for your kids how happiness is what WE create for OUR lives...it's not up to others.
Your kids are watching you more than you know.
Show them that they are in charge of their happiness just as you are in charge of yours.
The OW is not the first and won't be the last. She's beneath your concern....
What are you doing for YOU, today?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
