RL, I think you're on to something One thing I don't understand is the idea of being at the end of our rope when trying to get what we want. I don't understand this:
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She doesn't see the point in trying anymore because it's not working. So the solution is - try something different or just walk away.
Not seeing the point is something I have difficulty understanding. Walking away is something I've never done, so don't understand that either. I've been tempted to do both over the years to be sure.
I suspect what one finds is that they can't "walk away" especially when kids are involved. There will always be interaction and it won't be what one thinks it will be like. One can give up without walking away, but I fail to see the point of that either. That's self-imposed purgatory in my view.
To be certain, CV is looking for change, whatever that means to her exactly. I get that. I understand that perfectly.
I think another way to look at it is that if you try and try and try and see no change in somebody else you're either a) not done trying for the change you want to see or b) not being the change you want to see. It's possible that you haven't been looking in the right places, but that's more than an either statement allows Either way, you're longing for change and not getting it, but possibly going about it the wrong way.
Once you walk away, you won't see change in somebody else. Game's over at that point.
We do have a responsibility to live for us. Part of that is our integrity in living our life. My belief is that we if we make a promise, we keep it. That's for me, because I like that about me. I like knowing that I don't walk away from my promises and my integrity is intact. But that's living for me the way I want to live. I don't control others and never have nor wanted to. I accept them as they are and set my boundaries for how I'll interact with others.
Many times I've been surprised by others because of this. When I've written off somebody for their actions, they have surprised me with their changes. Looking back, much of what I saw was a point in time (sometimes many points in time) where they acted a certain way. But they grew and my perspective changed. Or both
As your tag suggests, "Love means not giving up on someone even if they've given up on you." I can't imagine a world where I give up on somebody and believe me, that has been a difficult road to walk...But I wouldn't trade it for the world
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
