RH~ Thank you so much for your kind words and empathy, they mean more than you know! I am sorry you were having a rough day too, I hope it has long since passed. As you have said, at least most days are good for us.
WH,SA, snodderly~Thank you!
updates~ I have recovered from my day of being a complete and total mess... of course I did cry five nights in a row, was still stuck on that baby thing, but I've gotten myself to a place of it is what it is.
I have been doing all of my old PT stretches and such for my back and it is feeling better, not totally better, but getting there. H has even helped me with some of my stretches a few times.
Thanksgiving went better than I thought it would. I was setting the table early and said to H, "I am guessing you will not be here for dinner." His reply, "I have plans, sorry." I said in a flat tone, "You don't need to apologize to me." Then walked past him to go back to "my" room to fold laundry.
H came back a little while later, wanted some attention. Then as we were sitting on the bed he said something to the effect of, "I'm sorry I ruined your life, plans, etc. I'm trying to make it right." I was stunned, I said quietly, " I forgive you." He looked pained when I said that. Then I went on to ask what he meant by trying to make it right? He said he's trying to work on things (he didn't expand on that). I told him to take his time. I'm here for him if he needs me, if he wants to talk, or someone silly to laugh at and I patted his knee. He just kind of shook his head and then he said I know. That was the end of that conversation.
I feel like that was pretty huge for him. I mean he didn't expand on anything but maybe he's finally realizing what he needs to be working on is inside of him and I'm not the bad guy. IDK. I'm just taking the positive for what it is.
Later H was going to get something out of the pantry to eat I told him dinner would be ready soon if he wanted some. He asked if I was eating alone, I said yes. He said he would eat some and used his usual if it's not any trouble, and he hopes I didn't go to all that trouble for him. I told him I didn't, said I love to cook. He asked what I had made. I told him roast beef since I didn't know if he would be here and I don't like turkey.
While I was making the gravy I asked him if he would like to do the honors of cutting the meat, which he did. He even laughed at me as I was making a mess pouring the gravy, and my attempt to clean it up made more of a mess.
When we sat down to eat I asked if he minded if I prayed first, he didn't. He actually sat at the table and had dinner with me, we actually had a real conversation. He asked me if I had any big weekend plans, I told him not really and that I have to work black Friday due to the days off for the hurricane. He couldn't believe that, we talked about that for a short while. Then I asked if he had any big weekend plans, he said no just shooting. He didn't get defensive of my asking, which was refreshing.
I bit the bullet and asked about our niece. I said, "I'm assuming everything is fine with our niece." He told me yes and a bit about her. I asked if his sister named her what he told me she was going to, he said yes, I asked about her middle name, he told me. Then I was curious to know what last name she gave her, he said there mother's husband. I didn't say anything just looked down at my plate. This made me sad, and angry to hear. That man never raised them, he even tried to beat up one of H's brother's one time. I can't believe she is so angry with her REAL father she would do that, but it's none of my business, those are HER issues to deal with. So when I looked up from my plate I just said quietly, "I hope I get to meet her one day." He didn't say anything else about it, I just changed the subject.
He told me how great the meal was and how nice it was to have dinner with me. I said yeah it was nice. I told him to eat as many leftovers as he would like the next day, since he was off black Friday, and not to forget about the pie I would be making. He said he may take me up on that offer.
He helped me clear the table and put stuff away. He even volunteered to wash the dishes the next day. I told him I would do it, it was his day off he should enjoy it and relax.
He left around 2, before he left he said thanks again for dinner, told me he was leaving, and said to enjoy having the house to myself for the evening.
My dear friend came over later that evening we were watching a movie when H came back home around 8:30. He said hey to her and actually stood in the living room a minute watching the movie.
Since then we have again watched some tv together, and had a couple of normal conversations about what we were watching or other everyday stuff.
I asked him yesterday about a saw to cut down a tree in the backyard to use as a Christmas tree (kind of a heads up to him that I will be putting up a tree this year). When I got home yesterday afternoon he told me he had gotten the saw out for me.
