Hello. I'm new here. Three months ago, after almost a year of tension, and sexual distance for most of marriage, my wife kicked me out of the house. And immediately filed for divorce.
I take responsibility for the sexual distance - baggage I never shed from previous relationships. I've also come to realize that my fear of failure led to personal insecurity that built a wall around me. I was a critical a-hole as a means of self-protection from being found out that I am not perfect.
The best thing to come from the divorce/separation is I've hit rock bottom and have no pride left. I am humbled, and defenseless.
Today, I discovered that my wife had been having an affair. At the time I suspected, She denied, and I had no choice but to believe her. Though it sucked, I wanted to work on the marriage.
And now, I have gone from devastated to diminished to desperate. I had hopes that, even though she was pushing the divorce through at lightening speed, we could work through this. But now, I don't know.
Her behavior towards me is pleasant. Friendly. She said she was "Thankful" for me at Thanksgiving. But has no desire to work on the relationship. As far as she's concerned we are divorced and now are just distant friends who share two daughters.
