I wanted to give an update. I did talk to H at one point and tell him how out of line I felt their behavior was. Of course, he didn't bother to acknowledge anything I said. The reason all that started was over S14 cell phone. He had broken his and I sent H text to see if he could help him replace it. He never did respond.
Thanksgiving wound up being a nightmare. Basically, H showed up (without calling I might add) after we had left his dads and then more or less insisted that they go back there. He also had a phone for S14. We had already bought another one. Of course, because we are not important enough to warrant a call he had no way to know. Meanwhile, my dinner was sitting here waiting for 4 hours. More disrespect on his part for me. I finally got to have my dinner with the kids at 9:30. By which time I had, had a complete meltdown. H took S14 with him over to his house to pick up something S14 sat in the car refusing to get out, next thing OW family came out to talk to S14 - which upset him. Meanwhile, H had left the D's all 3 of them at his dad's and step mothers. Apparently, her (H stepmother - Kids' grandmother) family was drawing for Christmas gift exchange - so the situation was all the kids were playing in the basement - and the hollered for the kids to come up and draw. All but my kids. So the girls tried to come up and were told it was NOT for them and get this they locked them in the basement so they couldn't come up. Apparently, because they didn't know what H was going to do for Xmas. So in a nutshell by the end of the day all the Ds were upset, S14 was upset and I was basically a basket case. Really, I more or less had a complete and total break down.
So that was Thursday - come today S14 called H and wanted him to take him to S14 gf house for a bit while I worked. I started working on Friday. Anyway, so it was decided he would sit here with the girls so S14 could go.
I did talk to H today and told him that was fine with me. I did also tell him that my problem with him not calling or discussing anything with me about the kids is that it makes me feel as though I am unimportant and that he does not respect me even as a parent. That conversation went pretty well. I told him I didn't mind him coming over to visit them and to take S14. Frankly, for 2 weeks before I accepted the job I begged him to come stay with them while I worked. He refused. I even told him I had no problem with him visiting that I had begged him to do so before but he had refused.
Later when he actually came over though he used it as another opportunity to go through my entire house. That made me furious. He was in the basement, in my bedroom, took more pots and pans. The girls were upset. Apparently, he was in literally every room in the house except the girls bedroom. He went through my desk, my drawers. Basically, I feel like he was stealing off me. Most of the stuff I had no problem with. It was the sneaky underhanded way he did it. Also, I have asked him REPEATEDLY to not go through my things and take stuff. This has been a problem. Then once I got mad I was told by him that I am such a problem and a B and it was his stuff too. He hung up on me again.
In a nutshell, that man treats me like dirt with absolutely no respect. He doesn't even respect me as a human being at this point. I told him, he is no longer welcome here. I blocked his number and frankly told him if he wants to speak with them or visit he can contact his dad and leave a message or something. At this point, I am tired of being treated this way and tired of my home being treated this way. In addition, I am sick and freaking tired of him using our kids as an excuse to come over and basically steal from us. He didn't spend time with them. He went through the house, and at one point sat out in the van talking to OW on the phone. He told them at one point to make a Xmas list - then he said to make it long with lots of different stuff on it because he has a limit to what he can spend because "I won't let him work" again.
So yes, I went off again tonight. I don't care at this point what he thinks about it. Really. I am tired of being treated the way he has done me. That's just blatantly disrespectful of him and I'm not allowing it anymore. I truly believe people treat you how you accept being treated and I'm not accepting it anymore.
I dunno what you guys think. I do care and want your input but frankly, I don't think I am going to change my mind. Also, much of this I think is her doing. Apparently he came back in and got the skillets and stuff AFTER he had talked to her. The only thing I know to do at this point is to completely cut him off. He only seems to want to be around the kids when it benefits him in some way. The other thing is he is calling S14 all the time and making plans and circumventing me. I basically made it clear that is no longer acceptable. I also made it abundantly clear to S14 that he was NOT to do anything like that again.
I hope you guys had a better TG than I did. I will certainly never forget it.
