Query. The no contact thing really bothers me. H is gambling (as far as I know) and would not appreciate being interrupted by a phone call. Plus, I am not supposed to be calling as I understand DB...
He purchased a cell phone for the express purpose of me being able to reach him in an emergency. He has on occasion also used it to "check in". I appreciate the check ins because it lets me know if he's dead or alive - and well, I find that considerate.
I am contemplating bringing up the lack of communication. (See, I was playing in another forum, infidelity I think, and there was a discussion of boundaries. Got me to thinking...)
So, wise ones and not so wise ones alike, what do you think?
Per the other forum I was thinking of phrasing it thusly.
"It makes me worry when I don't hear from you while you are out of town. I appreciate it when you check in."
Now IDK if boundaries are acceptable in MLC land. Keep in mind that H and I continue to live together pretty much "as normal" so there really is no way of "going dark" or even "dim". (Turning the lights off when I leave the room is about the closest I can get...)
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
