Another thing I just remembered is how my W will always bring up things I did to her in the past and by the past I mean things that happened 20 to 25 years ago. I never bring up her past affairs at all. As far as I'm concerned they are done and over with I chose to forgive her and move past them. I've asked her why she brings up the past and lives in it her answer was she can't forget the past. My counselor is flabbergasted by this and has said to me that even murderers get paroled after some time has passed.
when this happens you can choose & here are some options.
1) "w, that was a long time ago and I'm not looking at the past anymore. Let's stay focussed on THIS issue"... and then steer the conversation where you need it to go. Or leave the room.
2) "W, are you seriously bringing that up again? I hope for your sake you learn to let go of the past."
3) "w, the reason I don't bring up your affairs is b/c I forgave them & there's no GOOD purpose in throwing it in your face now. Let's try to set an example for our sons to see what forgiveness looks like."
Then Leave the room. Do NOT wait for her response to that^^ line.
4) "W, if I had it all to do over again, there are a lot of things I'd do differently"...
and move on to another topic or leave the room.
Good luck!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
