We get in MC and he's very glum but a day or two passes and it's ok. Weird.
Regretful, that's one of the reasons not to take what he says too seriously. I'm sure he feels low and resentful at times but that's not the whole story. You know it but don't try to get him to admit it. If he's anything like my H, your H gets attached to his stories and feels invalidated if they are questioned.
When H finally decided to stay put eight years ago, he kept saying he was only doing it for the kids' sakes and definitely not because of us--on the contrary. I remember my DB coach suggesting I let him say/believe it even though it nearly drove me crazy because I really didn't think that he was staying despite me. Of course, he was still resentful and bitter but I couldn't believe that he hated me as much as he claimed to. There was an element of pride in H maintaining his story. Somehow, it allowed him to feel that he wasn't giving in to pressure from me.
The joking sounds great. I think that weighs a lot more heavily in terms of how he's really feeling than what he says in MC. What he says may be way behind how he acts and he himself may not really know how he feels. Don't look to what he says to understand your sitch. I'm not saying that his gripes aren't important but they may be outdated and it may suit him to hang onto them for longer.
I'm so glad that the last few days have gone well. It's great that the time with his family was so easy.
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
