My Security Blanket

[keep_going]

Busting,

This is such a tough decision and I am so sorry you are dealing with it. For me it helps to break down the options and as someone else suggested, maybe making a list of pros and cons helps. Although I think you have already verbalized parts of your answer.

So if you think of the circumstances in which you would move to Dubai, it seems like there would be three possible scenarios for you:

Scenario #1)
Move as a family, with your H while you both working towards Reconciliation and he dumps OW completely.

Unfortunately at this time, this option is not on the table for you. It might or might not become real in the future, so you'd need to think hard if you want to make a decision to move based on something that may or may not materialize.

Scenario #2)
You move to Dubai with the situation as is, in limbo re. D and with your H clearly in a R with OW. She might or might not also move to Dubai, but as of now, distance has not been an issue for that relationship to continue, so regardless of where she lives, your H would still be with her.

You have already expressed how you feel about this scenario:

The thought of moving to Dubai in this same sitch as it stands right now...i know i do not want that. I can't do that.

I suppose i need to say something along the lines of if OW still involved and we are just continuing this sitch as is except in Dubai, I won't do that.

Scenario #3)
Your H moves on with D proceedings and you move to Dubai as a divorced couple. You have also already expressed how you feel about this:

If he says then I will D you, I will still say I won't do that. I am not going to be D'd and then go through the trauma of moving house, the kids, having no friends around me, just so H can come have dinner with the kids a few times a week.

Other options for you are to remain in Sudan at least for the time being. Is there any reason to rush this decision? As it is, your H already practically lives abroad.

Finally, you have to consider Egypt. I come from Mexico City - large, chaotic, dirty, hectic, full of challenges and problems. Yet right now, I would die for the chance to move back there, where all my childhood friends and family live, where I have a real support system. I can always get used to chaos again. After all, I grew up and lived there for 21 years.

So much to consider - the kids, finances, lifestyle...
But I would recommend that you make this decision based on your reality right now. The reality that your H is not with you and doesn't indicate he wants to come back now. You cannot bank on moving there just to stay close to him in case there is a possible reconciliation.


YOu need to think of what is best for Busting and your kids only and leave your H out of the equation. As it is, his relationship with his kids now is already as if he lives in another country, even though he "lives" in Sudan...

Don't rush... No need to decide today. If you end up talking to H about it, just listen, have him explain how he visualizes this move. Listen and take it all in. Don't reply, don't commit. Take your time to assimilate all the info and decide on YOUR own time.

Keep brainstorming and posting often. We are here for you. Love you!
(((((((busting)))))))