Time to move over here.

[JustStunned]

No you cannot live aimlessly. Having goals is necessary. A plan can be manipulative and controlling so guard against that. At the end of the day you are really only in control of yourself and you are the person looking back from the mirror. He is who you must live with.

I cannot speak for you or your daughter. I can relate my own experience. After X left, family and especially the kids wanted a return to normal. Of course that could not be. We needed to establish what the new normal was to be. In a lot of ways we were learning to piece. I became the lighthouse. I worked to make my home a safe harbor. I worked to make myself a good steward of that safe harbor. I found a lot of the advice about rebuilding a relationship with a X was applicable to rebuilding a relationship with the rest of my family.

A word of caution, I needed to guard against allowing some family members assuming unhealthy relationship aspects. I had to set boundaries and in a few instances distance from rescue attempts. It would have been easy to permit, however doing so would have prevented healthy growth. This is where I needed to assert control of myself and stay on my path.

Of course YMMV.