leave it somewhere for her to open in private. This way, no pressure on her to say or act a certain way. She can just read your card and think about it on her own.
I forgot that, good catch TVS! That is what I did as well, left it and went to work and never said anything or asked if she saw or read it.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Hey Sunny, I had my 10 year anniversary back in June among all this madness. Just a suggestion... Maybe get her a non-mushy card and leave it somewhere for her to open in private. This way, no pressure on her to say or act a certain way. She can just read your card and think about it on her own. Good luck!
Thanks I am still not sure if I am gonna do it but I will let you all know --
My inlaws are coming up for a month starting today - I love my FIL so much I am excited - we have been actually getting a long great - but no expectations right !!!
Sunny
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
Yesterday I was in the living room with my son - my wife was outside smoking and I hear the guy next door yelling - I go out cuz I thought he was yelling at her -- mistake ??
I didn't blow up !! I got through a tough trial
He tells me the house he is renting is in foreclosure ( he knows I know real estate - how my wife told him - oye ) he acts so coy and my wife is staring at him watching him talk like he is the cutest thing in the world. So I tell him I will look over the paper and sure enough the house is in foreclosure. He is cursing like a truck driver about this and that - what is my wife thinking about being with a guy like this for -- anyway his fiance pulls up and proceeds to walk up to him put her arm around him and kissing him - it took all my strength not to say something - I said my goodbyes cuz my son is alone inside. She walks in I said he sounded like he was yelling at you that is why I went outside - she said - ohh noo that's just PXXXX's temper - he has a bad temper. So I dropped it - watched a TV show and went to bed but my stomach was churning the whole night -- very hard stuff
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
Of course it tears you up. What kind of husband would you be if it did not? He is the complete opposite of you right?
If it's like my situation was, then she is playing games with you. Mine did that several times - trying to make me jealous like a high schooler. I didn't bite and I'm glad I didn't.
Later she told me her intentions. It was surreal, but it is what it is.
Don't fall for the games, Sunny. You won't be happy or true to yourself if you do. That's not a woman's game - that's a child's game.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Of course it tears you up. What kind of husband would you be if it did not? He is the complete opposite of you right? If it's like my situation was, then she is playing games with you. Mine did that several times - trying to make me jealous like a high schooler. I didn't bite and I'm glad I didn't. Later she told me her intentions. It was surreal, but it is what it is. Don't fall for the games, Sunny. You won't be happy or true to yourself if you do. That's not a woman's game - that's a child's game. AJ
Thanks AJ I realize a lot of this is true - but in my heart I feel she is so past me and our marriage she won't even make the sign of peace with me at mass
What do you think I should do about our anniversary on Friday ??
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
I can relate to some of what you posted. Lately, I've felt like so much time and space and insanity and the OW--all of it-- for nearly a year and now there's this huge divide between myself and H. Not sure it's even realistic we could find our way to each other again. How do you keep the faith when someone has been out of your life for a year? Weird.
Sorry, lacking faith tonight--at least faith in my marriage or maybe just in my husband.
Trying to take the grown-up path myself. H has given me many opportunities lately to act the teenager--but I've resisted. Not easy!! It helps to have an 18-yr-old daughter who shows me daily what adolescent behavior looks like. And, sometimes the similarities between her attitude and H's are mind-boggling.
My two cents...Do what you need to do on Friday to get through the day. Put yourself first and give your heart a little love and nurturing. You definitely deserve celebrating how you've honored your vows despite some huge resistance.
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Sunny,I can relate to some of what you posted. Lately, I've felt like so much time and space and insanity and the OW--all of it-- for nearly a year and now there's this huge divide between myself and H. Not sure it's even realistic we could find our way to each other again. How do you keep the faith when someone has been out of your life for a year? Weird.Sorry, lacking faith tonight--at least faith in my marriage or maybe just in my husband.Trying to take the grown-up path myself. H has given me many opportunities lately to act the teenager--but I've resisted. Not easy!! It helps to have an 18-yr-old daughter who shows me daily what adolescent behavior looks like. And, sometimes the similarities between her attitude and H's are mind-boggling. My two cents...Do what you need to do on Friday to get through the day. Put yourself first and give your heart a little love and nurturing. You definitely deserve celebrating how you've honored your vows despite some huge resistance. Heather
Thanks do you think I should send her flowers ?? 1st her parents are here and 2nd it's a 10 year thats kind of a big one -- I am torn - as more time passes I can see me not being with her which I guess is a blessing in a way.
The other day I looked at her for the 1st time in 15 years and DIDN'T think she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen - that was a painful and scary feeling - I actually thought she might not be attracted to her anymore -- feeling indifferent
If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it. I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!
I would stick with the card. But, I'm no veteran here by any stretch of the imagination! Gather more opinions than mine.
I've prayed a lot through all of this. If I feel a burning desire and it seems to come from a Higher Power, then I usually follow suit. I guess what scares me some lately--much like what you describe--is a lack of feeling. I don't feel much of a drive to do anything where he is concerned. I'm tired of his problems and how his problems have impacted my life. And, I'm REALLY tired of how he still can't seem to understand that only HE is responsible for these problems--I'll take my part for the problems in the marriage, but I'm sick and tired of being blamed for his unhappiness.
Be good to YOURSELF on the anniversary.
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Purchase a non-mushy card. Do not send flowers or purchase anything else.
I think LoisB hit it on the nailhead...purchase the flowers, candy and a trip to Hawaii for yourself!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
