It's understandable that so soon after the S you're still going to wonder if the bottom is about to drop whenever you see her pull back a bit. I think with time you'll build your trust back up and not focus so much on the little moves.
Agreed. Since yesterday she's been great, lots of PA, told me she loved me etc.
Sandi thanks so much for posting. I've read a lot of your posts, your opinion is greatly valued.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
Your W was attracted to you when she saw you being stronger, plus when you threaten to leave. However, she will not continue to assure you that everything is okay.
I agree 100%. I understand she may not continue to tell me, but she's showing me through her actions, which is what I need to remind myself at times.
Quote:
It's not attractive for a man to ask.
I know. I struggle at times with what I'm supposed to be asking her and what I'm not. When I asked her about the affection it was kind of an aside, I certainly didn't want to come off as needy to her. She's given me mixed messages in the past. She's made comments about me not always being an 'alpha male' type, but she's also said I was at times confident to a fault (this was a mixture of taking her for granted, having a sense of entitlement and a touch of arrogance when it came to having her as my wife), all of which I've done 180's on. As I'm writing this maybe her messages weren't mixed, maybe they were my perceptions of her messages and at the time may have been appropriate to expressing her feelings.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
Your W is addicted to the feelings she experienced while in the A with OM. Her attempts at working on her M might have been sincere, but she struggled at not contacting him.
I am very aware of this. She is also aware of the difference between limerence and the difference between the feelings one gets from a happy and healthy long term marriage. I will do my best to give her both.
DaddyLongShanks I've read many of your posts as well, thanks so much for taking the time.
Originally Posted By: DaddyLongShanks
Those dopamine responses are real to her. Obviously if you could understand what's happening and help to change her reality so that you generate dopamine and oxytocin reactions in her.
The million dollar question. I thought of hiring a Biochemist and a time traveler to go back in time and extract my dopamine and oxytocin from my wife and then come back and secretly inject it into her while she slept. I'm half kidding
Seriously though, I will do everything I can to make that happen DLS.
fuanacdc Thanks for your input, I agree with your thoughts and comments. I'm very sorry to hear about your troubles. It certainly seems we have a lot in common. As soon as I get another minute I'll read through your sitch.
They are going to be generated by your presense and response to situations.
It seems like many of them who have been put into the LBS position, that the "no BS" approach is working the best.
Would you help your same sex friend who cut your throat with the assistance of some other person?
