MLC w/Depression...withdrawing!

[albamarie]

I’m glad TG is over though it was a fine day. Strangely enough the one giving me the most grief are my parents. We didn’t have them over so my mom shoved in my face about her friends they went to, they are perfect according to her. My mom said the day before that her wish for me is to get a D. I don’t need to hear her lack of understanding disappointment.

So H ended up leaving here to pick up homeless people to take them to a Mission house were he sat with them eating and giving them his company while talking about God. When he returned home he told me this on the porch saying he was compelled to do this and proceeded to tell me of these stages he’s going through.

It was like he was reading straight from the ‘’stages of mlc book” he talked about the stages he’s gone through and the one he’s feeling strongly about right now. He is getting past the teen yrs, though it’s still tempting to fall back, and entering his young adult needs of becoming a Missionary. Feeling the weight of the world he was quite the activist, and advocate.

He thought I was crying (contacts) and put his hands on my face saying he’s not trying to be mean, or doing evil against me or the kids. He said he was so impressed with how I’m my grounding, acknowledging he has “seen” me when I was distraught, but amazed at my strength to the point that is scares him. I said I don’t condone some of his actions and not to misinterpret my silence.

I thanked him for cleaning the house before dinner, he said “I” never have to thank him. He apologized for the hurt and the A last yr saying he spiraled so far away from himself that he didn’t care about anything. Now he’s trying to find himself, no at all having a PA, not doing drugs, not spending money on ea/friends, and not trying to get a D.

He has a small savings (that I have access to) and transferred some money to pay for all the alcohol and food he spent outside of the family from the family account. He brought up ea saying that it’s is purely out of her poverty and insanity that he tries to help her, while needing sometimes a place to sit between gigs. He also said he actually hates her and can see why everyone tells him she’s a horrible person, and it’s becoming estranged. I offered him pie to get far away from that conversation, whip cream w/that!

I’m going to stay on my course, if I actually even know what that is. Is this DBing? Is this 180, NC? I don’t know exactly what it is I’m doing.

Any idea’s out there, what’s your opinion about what I’m doing and how? I would like to be able to relate to a narrowed down idea in order to read how others marched on successfully.

I’m not trying to do anything for the future, everyday is a day to learn, and get through!