When I went to bed last night, I felt so OK without him. I think one of the worst fears was the idea of spending a holiday like this without him. But, it was OK. I actually felt NOT all that interested in reconciling. Made me kinda sad. Like those feelings for him are disappearing with every dumba$$ thing/lie/action he takes.
I was really proud of myself for not reaching out to him. I'm betting it was a bit of surprise for him because I've always been so weak with him. I didn't communicate at all with him on Thanksgiving!! I kinda can't believe it. A big 180 for me.
Other thing...My dad left my mom for his secretary in much the same manner when I was 13. They eventually married and my mom married this very unstable man with lots of money. I remember my mom inviting my dad to our first Thanksgiving after they separated and it was so weird. Mom played the part of the saint and he left her anyway.
Mom has been slowly extracting herself from her marriage with Nutso Step Dad for the past few years. She discovered he was having two very involved affairs which required a lot of lies and planning on his part. Recently, she's been looking for an apt. So, she called me the other day and invited the girls and I over to the house for a "last" Thanksgiving at the house "for him." I'm like, "for who?" She answered for donald--(stepdad). I told I wouldn't attend.
So, she's sitting at our house yesterday and reveals how stepdad had abandoned her many, many holidays. That she had never told us kids because she didn't want us to worry. Apparently, he would take his OW to his family's in PA!! Seriously!!>?>>??? No wonder I'm such a doormat. AND< after all that crap, she wants to have a "Last Supper" for HIM??????
She went on to say, "Oh there's lots you guys don't know. You would be horrified by some of the things he did." ????? I changed the subject.
How weird is that? I guess I see where I get my submissive habits with men.
Made me feel better about my Thanksgiving decision.
So sad.
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
