Had a really nice Thanksgiving. Stayed home and cooked for the girls and my mom. Set it all up like I would for a whole family group and it was really nice. We ate by candlelight with a fire going and I made some really, really good food! It was actually fun to cook without H's many moods hovering around and worrying about his crazy, controlling family, etc... I enjoyed cooking and enjoyed the girls. We all said it was one of the best Thanksgivings.
Spoke to my MIL yesterday-called to wish her a Happy T--she told me they hadn't seen H since Sept. I was a bit shocked. I learned he wasn't spending Thanksgiving with his family either--said he was working? I let her know that I had invited H to our house for the evening--it was important to me that she know I had reached out after H had made me out to be such a monster last spring.
I gave her a brief synopsis of what happened with the Jeep Doors and how the vehicle is stored at OW's house and how I put my foot down about his coming over. I felt kinda funny about telling her and told her not to repeat the information, but they are really worried and have NO idea where or what he's doing. It felt good to be on the same page with them about the phantom.
Yesterday, H wished me a Happy Thanksgiving via text...yadda, yadda,yadda... I didn't respond. I told him Happy TH. the day before when I set my boundaries about him coming over.
I almost floundered and invited him again when I heard that he had turned down his sister's invitation and wasn't spending Thanksgiving with his family either. But, I didn't cave. Didn't invite him--again. Didn't text.
He has been texting D18 compulsively since I laid down my boundary about the Jeep Doors and the OW. D18 didn't respond. He was going to fix our jeep tonight and I sent a brief text this morning saying D18 had to work and would need a ride back and forth if he took the our jeep to get fixed. He responded with a short "Did she apologize to the neighbors about the mailboxes?"
Jeez, what the he!! Why is he obsessing about this now that he was busted about the OW again? I responded "Yes" just to get him off our backs and had D18 sit down and write the apology notes in front of me. H and I DID agree she had to handle the apology for running over the mailboxes and set up a payment plan with both neighbors before our jeep was fixed.
So, get this. The H that never follows through on anything. Called the neighbors to check up on me. Texted me that he had spoken to one of the neighbors and they had never received the note. What in the ...? Sends me this angry text. So, I try to keep calm and phone him. He doesn't answer.
Calls back with this nasty attitude..."What?" Gives me a few words with an obvious angry attitude--the "I blame you, you are a lousy parent, See this is why I left you kinda tone."
I kept calm. Agreed it was important she follow through on the apologies. Didn't apologize myself or tell him I lied. Just said that I agreed and I would follow through with her and let him know.
Drove D18 to both neighbors and watched her hand the notes to them. Texted as much.
He sent me a lengthy explanation why he can't take the jeep to get fixed tonight because the mechanic is busy. I said it was fine and works better for me. Have a nice day.
He answered "You too. I will let you know when I can fix the jeep."
He sounded so angry. right back to hating me. Began thinking he didn't answer the phone the first time because he spent the night with her. Maybe he did. At first, felt like I pushed him right back into her arms.
Not going to let it ruin the rest of the weekend though. He must be pretty miserable again. Prob got high after he was busted about the doors. For all I know, his mom talked to him. I don't think so though. Thinking he just feels lousy about doing yet another dishonest, selfish thing and missing Thanksgiving with his fam for the first time in more than 20 years.
Good news is...I'm still ok.
That's the news. Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
