Welcome to catch-22

[Big Bruce]

I agree you need to show the better you, but remember to not swing the pendulum too far.
You have opinions of your own. If some of them really matter you can make them known, but maybe at the "right time" in a calm and civil manner. Don't hold them in and then do something passive agressive, chances are she will see through it.

Thank you! I think that indeed I have been TOO nice, TOO kind, TOO gentle. And I've been taken advantage of.
Now, anything will be seens as : he was faking it.

But, I'd say wait until things calm down.
If you do it know when gloves are off, I'm guessing she will see it as you trying to force her hand.

Unfortunately, things haven't calmed down really in 5 months, I don't know when this will happen. Can't afford to have her take my son, and the money, and lose her in the meantime.

I asked my X "Would you be open to discuss me having more custody when he gets a bit older? Not 50%, not necesseraly 40%, but maybe somewhere in between. I miss him and want to be there for him. At least we could discuss it after you think about it"
She lost her d@mned mind! Cried, yelled, the works.

Was it a good or bad thing? Did she liked that you were interested in your son, or did she feared you taking him 40% of the time?